Torn

Beliefs in turmoil,
confused and torn my being,
heart and mind moving two seperate ways,
dancing across,
fighting to carry me along,
the heart tries to go one way,
and mind efforts to reach another,
strange enough this thing be,
for me to be confused,
both are right,
yet neither one can I go along,
this battle in the being,
causing discomfort unexplainable,
even though the realisation dawns,
that this too shall pass in a while,
yet I ain't comforted with the fact,
heart and mind going opposite paths,
and they are tearing my being apart.

Gift

"This is very special, way too close to heart"
"But tell me , what is that you have brought for me, what is so special?"
"Close your eyes"
She closed eyes and stood still.
He moved closer to her and started to speak again.
"I had planned this thing very differently in my life, but given the fact that I may never find a friend like you ever again, I thought plans could go to hell, if anyone in the whole world could deserve this gift it would be you. And this is really important, because it's a gift that I can give only one person in my lifetime and that too only once."
They were standing close, almost eyelid to eyelid.
"I want you to open your eyes and not move, not even a little."
She opened her eyes and looked straight into his.
"You've been my best and the most dearest friend in past some time, and this thing never crossed my mind ever before."
"You are my closest friend and so, I am going to allow you something I did not even allow her."
They were still standing in the same position, almost inhaling each other's breaths, this moment life seemed perfect.
She glanced into his eyes and then again let her eyelid drop.
"I told you I was saving a special gift for the girl I would marry, well, I decided otherwise, you are such a special friend that she can wait one lifetime for this gift."
"You could accept it, or reject it, it's your choice. If I say I would not be hurt, I would be lying. If you reject my gift I would be hurt, but not too much, only a little and that too only because it's the first time I am ever going to stake it."

He moved even closer and just touched the surface of his lips to hers, No, he did not kiss her, he just touched the lips, the same way a girl touches a flower, delicately and carefully, savors delight and utter pleasure in that touch, he touched her lips like that, as if he were touching his lips to a rose petal, and then he distanced himself a little, they could breathe easy again. A smile on her lips and a teardrop in her eyes, she knew what this meant for him. He had always told her about how he was keeping his first kiss for his life-partner. This was not exactly a kiss, but then she was not exactly his life partner as well. It was just a brushing of two pairs of lips and a little more, and well she, she was just his best friend and a little more.
 

She felt lucky, extremely lucky to have a friend who trusted her so much, she moved towards him, gave him a slight peck on his cheeks and hugged him in appreciation of his act as a gesture of friendliness and gratefulness. Both of them stayed wordless for a while. Such moments can only be felt and nothing can be said when something so beautiful happens to you. A great rush of happiness followed, their throats were behaving as if they were choked.

"Did I do something I should have not done?" he asked.
"No" she replied.

That was all they could speak for rest of the time. "I could not be luckier than this" she thought for herself.

Nightmare.

Waking up in middle of the night,
breathless, thoughtless,
have I been dead for long?
chills running up and down the spine,
heart racing beyond imagination,
what did i do?
opening my eyes,
i look around,
notice reality and see nothing wrong,
yet something has happened to me,
and I am afraid,
to fall asleep again,
scared of the nightmares,
which render me helpless,
but I also fear the sleepless nights,
I cry out for peace,
and a slice of happiness,
to cure me of my inability to speak and express,
my thoughts and feelings,
stuck inside,
the tears flow,
invisible to all,
and I am afraid to sleep again,
but I am scared of the sleepless nights.